MY KID DIDN’T DO IT
“Them boys didn’t do that,” Myricks maintains ,”they aren’t those type of boys to do that.”Smith’s mother goes on to say, “she doesn’t believe the son who loved video games and dreamed of playing in the NFL would rob. . ..”Our children’s behavior, unlike a standard measure by yardstick, ruler, scale or tape, is a chancy occurrence for any parent to be so sure about.The parents of Rodney. Ricardo or Rajali would like to believe he/she wouldn’t have done the socially unacceptable act they’ve been accused of carrying-out, however, it is an extremely unwise parent who, without the facts, loudly proclaims their kid’s innocence.NO PERFECT PARENT AND NO PERFECT KIDAre we to believe we’ve got perfect parents amongst us who have raised the perfect kid who doesn’t lie, cheat, steal and in some cases go much further by committing horrific crimes?Encompassed in the ritual of growing into adulthood, kids cheat, steal and lie. They are great manipulators. As parents, it is our job to watch these scenarios unfold and provide proper guidance to stop the behavior in order for kids to get the message that neither the parents will tolerate these acts and that the broader society has much harsher punishments for them than what they’re going to get at home.I told my parents stupid lies. Well, I thought they were well thought out but the end result taught me my parents were smarter than I was. Just like those who make the rules we’re to live by in society, they too are smarter than our kids.Suspecting that I’m not alone, those who read this article have, like myself, lied, cheated and/or stolen something – if no more than some potato chips from the school cafeteria- but we became adults and from those juvenile experiences we learned that life is much smoother when we avoid criminal behavior.ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES WHEN THEY’RE YOUNGStarting in children’s early years, parents need to hold the younguns responsible for their actions.When cute little Susie snatches the toy from her playmate and claims, with fluttering eyes and a trusting smile, that she didn’t do it, Ms or Mr Parent had better step in and set the record straight.When Tyrone said he was only hanging -out at his “homies” house but your friend saw him on the other side of town at the liquor store, Tyrone needs to be taught a lesson.If we don’t keep our children in tow, the forces in society will. And even when we do our job as parents, we’ve got no guarantee safety will prevail for them on the street.THE END RESULTS CAN BE DEVASTATINGMs Myricks, whose 15 year-old son, Darius Smith, died from gunshot wounds fired by an off-duty border patrol agent who said that Smith and two other teenagers attempted to rob him as he walked from a metro gold line train station in Arcadia Ca., says he wasn’t that kind of kid.According to news reports, a lawyer speaking for Smith’s family claims the boy was executed. The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department says surveillance footage supports the agents account of the incident and shows that Smith pointed a“realistic-looking” replica handgun at the agent/officer during the incident, and demanded money. At this point, the officer drew his weapon and shot the 15-year old four times.Smith ran from the scene and collapsed a few blocks away and later died from his wounds at a local hospital.Could the off-duty officer have handled the incident differently? Probably.Did the off-duty officer simply do what any legally armed citizen would do? Maybe.Are young black male teenagers suspect just because of who they are? Most certainly.Will the surveillance footage, which has not been released, show that the mother’s claim that her son wouldn’t behave in the manner described by the Sheirff’s department prove her to be correct?THE DEATH OF YOUNG BLACK MEN AT THE HANDS OF LAW ENFORCEMENT IS AN EPIDEMIC – WHAT CAN WE DO?Understandably that every Black mother whose son has been “mowed-down” by law enforcement officers is disraught and looks at her individual loss in the view of Michael Brown, Trevon Martin and so many young black boys.I join with Ms Myricks, her family and her friends in mourning the loss of her son, Darius.But I caution every parent not to believe they know what their kid would’nt do.I further suggest that the many parents, black and white, who look the other way knowing their kid is not walking the line start to recognize their own level of contribution in creating a monster and instead of pointing the finger, own up and work to improve their faulty child raising practices.
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Shirlee I so agree that we can’t always say what our children will do or won’t do; as a Mother of two grown Sons I
thank God for His help in seeing them safely to adult hood. Their father and I did all we could to support and work with them and yes there were some smacks on the bottom. We worked with the school and were team parents but still there are those times when they are on their own and we don’t know what they will do. I don’t think Darius deserved to be killed for his mishap a wound would have served the same effect. It was over kill and I grieve with his Mother that she must suffer the loss of Her son. Know one should loose there child for any reason. I pray for Her and Her family the loss is something all parents pray won’t happen to them.
I have the same problems with people I deal with. I am usually feeling for them, but also at times, knowing the kids in question are mess ups. Not at all innocent in some things.
Amen…never say what your child would/wouldn’t do. I tell parents that I nanny for that sometimes the best kid in the world can also be influenced by their peers and do things that they would not do. Why do so many adults forget being sneaky behind their parents back. Good blog!