HOW DID THESE PARENTS GO SO WRONG?
Christopher/Cameron Ervin
“Those were not our boys who did that to us,” say Yvonne and Zachary Ervin, the Atlanta GA parents of Cameron, 17, and Christopher, 22, who attempted to murder both their mother and their father.
The elder Ervins went on to say that the boys are forgiven and they will continue to stand by them.
Get real!
But I’m asking for far too much here. Any parents who raise kids who will attempt to commit this heinous act don’t understand what’s real.
All parents who raise kids to believe their behavior is acceptable are in for a rude awakening. Or in the case of the Ervins, an opportunity to maybe not ever get to awaken again.
Far too many of today’s “looney” parents create monsters like the Ervin brothers by the continuous acts of never holding their children accountable.
Children don’t need all that’s usually showered upon them. What they do need are limits, consequences, and a set of values that help them understand that life is not centered around them.
Yvonne and Zachary Ervin created these two monster brothers who will undoubtedly spend the rest of their lives behind bars after the expensive attorneys who were hired ( by the forgiving Yvonne and Zachary) didn’t get the court to pronounce a not guilty verdict.
These doting parents will take the witness stand in the defense of the boys and they will weep when the verdict and the sentence are handed down. They will not miss a week without visiting the prison no matter how far the journey.
If you doubt my perspective, ask yourself what’s been going on in this household for the past 22 years.
One of the brothers told investigators he’s been plotting to kill his parents since he was 11 years old.
Since their arrest, both brothers have mentioned a “bad home life.” But friends and family, according to news sources, are shocked to hear something like that.
One friend, Derrick Butts, told a news reporter, “if you call a troubled home life having everything you ever wanted, then I’ll take that trouble any day.”
And therein lies the problem!
Parents take heed! Parents adjust your barometers!
Read the news story at: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/atlanta-parents-forgive-sons-accused-kill-article-1.2366682
This Post Has 14 Comments
Wow ;
I cannot imagine not loving your own progeny sufficiently to teach them any responsibility or that there are consequences to every action be it good , bad or neutral .
I feel sorry for these two boys who will never know a normal life .
-Nate
Nate,
What’s wrong with these parents? Do you think they ever gave their boys a normal life? Plotting to kill since the age of eleven tells a gruesome story of deprivation.
I have two incidents that I have observed in the past weeks that prove your point. One I was caring for a pre kindergatner, for a friend I decided a day at the park would be nice. So I packed snacks and off we went to the local park. The child I was watching is the younger of an older sibling so She was very mature for her age. She was playing on the slide with her new “park ” friends every thing was going nicely. Soon a younger child approched the slide and started to throw sand at the children coming down the slide, I went over and explained He shouldn’t do this, His Mother came over and rather than joining in my disscussion of not throwing sand she looked at me and said “I never use the word no in His presence” So I responded If He throws sand again He will Hear the word No in No uncertain terms she huffed at me took her son by the hand and left the scene. the next incident was in a Subway, a grandmother in the line was treating her young grandchildren to a subway sandwich. While waiting her grand son was very antsy and when she ask him to calm down he turned and started to Hit her hands then he moved to lean on a stand in the store the Grandmother again corrected him the boy again turned and started to hit her The Grandmother returned the blow the child was so shocked by her action which I was happy to see, but he calmed down and went to set by his sister and waited for his grandmother to pay She never changed her demeanor for the children but looked at the boy and said When you strike out you need to be aware that you too will be struck. I think He learned his lesson don’t mess with Grandma. I loved it. Firm discipline never hurt anyone
Jean,
I sure hope everybody who visits this blog reads your comment! Bless the grandma and may readers realize it’s not cute to let the kids get away with bad behavior. And for the sand thrower, the juvenile court and the adult prison bars are holding that kid’s reservation. Thanks so much for expanding the conversation.
I’m not sure how I missed that news story, but your comments caused me to “google” the stories.
OMG! I do know a few parents who actually treat their children as if they are china-doll figurines. Beware, parents, of too much, too early and too few boundaries!
Ms Greta is a long time school administrator who has a keen insight as to what a difference sound parenting can do for making a kid a productive member of society! China-doll figurines is such an appropriate description.
Great blog, Shirlee! Maybe it was okay to be the “meanest mother on the block” when my boys were growing up!
Linda, I’ll take a wild guess that all the “mean mothers” had children who grew up appreciating the “mean machine”
Sadly ;
The simple concept that most Children desperately seek boundaries and will act out increasingly badly until they find some , appears top be beyond many so called ‘ adults ‘ who never say ‘ ! NO ! , ! STOP ! , THAT’S WRONG ! ‘ or any of the multitude of things Parents are supposed to tell their progeny so they’ll learn to be well mannered and happy Adults .
When I was a lad I was forced to live with many kids like this and one went off to hack both his loving parents to death with a hatchet……
I saw this coming when I was 11 and even asked his Father once if he really thought it was O.K. that his son thought he was God and everyone should/would willingly kill them selves ” for my glory ” ~ his Father didn’t seem concerned nor interested .
It’s not necessary to beat your Child to teach them right from wrong .
-Nate
Nate you’ve hit on an interesting point. Many of us, with parents who knew how to keep us in order, witnessed other kids who had a different kind of up-bringing and we saw very sad life stories for those kids who just got to do whatever they wanted. Wow, I can think of so many in my neighborhood. And like Greta commented, here, these unfortunate kids were treated like “porcelain dolls”.
As I said , it’s not all that difficult , my parents couldn’t be bothered so I went wild and wad jailed at an early age but I learned , mostly from the few Adults who took the time to engage me and say ” STOP ~ what you’re doing is _wrong_ and will lead you into an unhappy life it’s difficult to extricate from ” .
I did (go way off the rails) and it was hard work to back out and get where I am to – day , a contented Adult .
-Nate
You raise an important point. It doesn’t have to be the parent with the magic to set a kid on the right track. Every adult should/could see themselves as a role model and a mentor. All the children belong to all of us!
Dear Shirlee,
Porcelain doll children for the most part, will “crack” or “crack up;” and unfortunately will leave a wave of destruction or tragic consequences in their paths. Boundaries are in place in life… for a reason! Parents, teachers and persons of authority NEED to learn this. But more importantly, the importance of boundaries/limitations/consequences need to be taught! Having worked at an “upscale” educational institution, I was able to witness many, many instances of “entitled behaviors” and “entitled personas” on the part of many students. It was very, very sad to see. This story of the Ervin brothers is beyond tragic. When I originally heard about this horrific story, I immediately thought about the Menedez brothers (and their heinous murdering of their ultra-wealthy parents, from many years past). How many more stories, and situations that precipitate these type of dispicable actions—-are we not aware of in our society? I’m sure that the count would be staggering. Some people should NEVER become parents. It is a Great Responsibility; and it should not necessarily be afforded to just anyone. Perhaps that may sound a bit extreme, but I shudder to think of the poor social state that we are in; simply because the world-at-large does’nt truly understand the importance of good/great parenting. This story is gut-wrenching, but it needed to be discussed. Thanks again, Shirlee.
—-Bill
Very powerful Mr Allen. We thank you for your amazing insight.