IS IT ME OR IS IT THEM?
I should not watch the news. I tend to turn it off when there’s a featured story about parents managing their kids because I’m thinking they are absolutely stupid. But then I think there can’t be that many stupid parents which leads me to start questioning myself.
The other night there was a featured story shot at a home in upscale South Pasadena of a mock pre-teen/teen party put on by some improv actors, showcasing how prevalent drugs and sex are at the parties our kids attend.
Of course, after the party footage of what happens at parties some upscale parents were interviewed.
Most of them remarked the event was a wake-up call and they needed to face reality.
My stupidity led me down the wondering path of where was the adult supervision at the party.
Then some more of my stupidity came forward when I wondered why parents of partying teens don’t investigate where their kids are going. You know, stupid investigation like, well. . .
Is it too much stupidity on my part to think parents ought to have the address of the party, know who is throwing it AND check out the supervision?
In my way of thinking, completely antithetical to what the upscale folks seemed to be moaning about, I know where my kid is going. Oh, yeah, they may lie to me once BUT they sure don’t wanna see me drop them off at the next event, and then go back to the place to check things out wearing house slippers, a robe and uncombed kinky hair.
Outrageous ? Well, I’m not known for being conventional. Ask my kids about my special “I’m checking on you” outfits.
Believe me, as a momma of four daughters, I only had to be absurd once because all the rest of them got the message.
Oh, if I could just learn to be “upscale” and in the dark – not knowing things about my kids.
Is it me or is it them?
And I just can’t resist turning on the news – it’s my evening fight with the remote, but the same dumb stories featuring very dumb, or did I call them stupid, people, seem to be on every damn channel.
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Well, of course improv takes truth and stretches it, magnifies it, makes it absurd. Yes, there are such parties and always have been, but they may not be quite as wild or quite as prevalent as that news report made it seem. Remember, their job is to “sell papers”–gain viewership–and that’s how it’s done.
That said, what the kids at one of the PUSD public high schools used to say about the kids at one of the local private high schools was, “Yeah, we sell the drugs, but you buy them.” Money to burn.
I once gave a preteen party for my youngest son we were new to neighborhood and he had very few friends, being from Southwest LA where the Moms were always on guard, I prepared food and drinks for the adults who would be accompanying Mary or John. My Mother was to be their hostess while my sister and i watched the kids at the party. Party time came and kids were dropped off and parents didn’t even bother to come to the front door they did not call or question who I was what my ethics were. One Mother stayed and enjoyed the appetizers I had prepared. I was shocked. But oh well I always checked knew where and when my teens were going and when they would return. I had no problem doing a Mom drive by just make sure every thing was as it should be. If I didn’t know or could not meet the parents my teens knew not to ask the answer was no.
As a single parent I applaud your ‘ drive by ‘ idea .
You are _NOT_ stupid and IMO those other Parents are either lazy or perhaps simply worn out from the daily grind and do not stop to consider the ramifications .
That’s where folks like you and the ones who read this blog come in : we need to step up and speak out ~ if , after that those other Parents decide to drop the ball (and believe me , I see plenty who do) there’s not a whole lot we can do in these trying times .
I never stopped sticking my nose in when it came to my Son’s goings – on and he turned out just fine and his friends all seemed to like the face that someone cared about where he went and what he did always , day or night .
YOU , one solo Parent , can make a HUGE difference by simply caring enough to let the Children know you’re orbiting and observing , ready to lend a helping hand or step in if things go sideways .
-Nate