A GIFT FOR DAD
(Image-http://www.fathers-day.tk)
Did you forget?” asked the downhearted dad.
“I didn’t have any money and my credit cards are maxed with too many cash advances and late fees”
Should Dad have really been downhearted because his adult son LeRoy didn’t have a Father’s Day Gift for him?
That’s a dumb question because anyone reading what I write knows the answer. But then I never know when a new follower/reader happens across my somewhat different kind of opinion.
LeRoy, although in his forties, still believes a show of love is to be matched with a price tag.
And just where did he come by this kind of value system?
The answer is clearly in the lap of the downhearted dad who sees himself as forgotten because there’s no gift on the great day that marketing and advertising gurus have peddled as a show of “Remembering” Dad.
LeRoy says he would liked to have paid a visit on the great day but shame kept him from “showing up at the house” without something in a package.
Neither love or respect can be bought and packaged. Unfortunately, Dad has helped LeRoy acquire a set of values that have cheated them both.
What a great day father and son could have had just chewing the fat, reminiscing, and shooting the bull.
Seems to me, some quality time together is the greatest gift any Dad could receive.
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[…] Shirlee Smith is a former Pasadena Star-News Opinion Columnist. She is a Los Angeles Press Club first place awardee and author of They’re Your Kids, Not Your Friends and the Spanish edition, “Son Tus Hijos, No Tus Amigos.” Smith can be reached by email at talkaboutparenting@gmail.com. Website Blog: talkaboutparenting.org/a-gift-for-dad/ […]
My Son and grandkids and daughter came over with food and a willingness to cook on such a hot day. Afterword we sat at the dinning room table and discussed the things that were impacting us. No gifts needed just time and love. What a special day
Dear Shirlee,
What an excellent perspective from your blog on Father’s Day. However, the father failed to teach LeRoy that there are “different kinds of gifts.” And one’s “intention(s)”—–can be gifts in and of themselves. LeRoy could have WRITTEN a nice note, message, poem or a piece on gratitude on having his dad still around. Perhaps, LeRoy could have composed a song, or Xeroxed poignant / sage words from our past great leaders…that pertained to the importance of family/fathers. When our late, great choreographer Alvin Ailey was poor (and way before he amassed great fame and wealth), he could not afford a
gift for his mother’s birthday. So, he choreographed a piece for his mother…and to ALL
Black women/ALL Black mothers everywhere! That dance was called CRY; danced and made famous by the collaborative artistry of Ailey and the great, Black dancer Judith Jamison! That “gift” endures on stages across America, to this very day. NOT everyone has THAT KIND of talent…but we all have SOME TYPE OF GIFT(s) TO GIVE TO THIS WORLD.
LeRoy could have fixed a nice simple meal; or given his dad a foot rub/message; make an appointment for a medical check-up for preventative care for prostate/diabetes/or high blood-pressure/or sickle cell. LeRoy could have washed his dad’s car or cleaned his house or cleaned his yard, as an expression of caring. In this day and age of “corporatism-advertising-mass-media appeal”—–people have failed to use their own creativity, ingenuity,or simply giving-of-themselves-with-their-PRESENCE…as expressions of love and familial caring. This story that you presented about LeRoy and his dad, was sad and touching simultaneously. The values that we have lost as a society…and those values society has chosen to embrace are quite sad. The story was “touching” in a remorseful kind of way, because it shows society’s true fall from human grace. Again, on-point as usual, Shirlee. Thanks so much.
—–Bill Allen, Jr.
Programmed, manipulated, into believing every “gift” has to be purchased. You’ve got some wonderful suggestions, here, so next Father’s Day, we’ll publish them as part of the blog. Thanks