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"WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?"
Published On 12-19-2009 , 7:52 PM
Thanks to Elin Woods, Tammy Wynette's record-breaking 1968 country tune, "Stand By Your Man" has found a resting place.
"Surely you can find something in the Tiger Woods story that relates to parenting," was the terse post on my Facebook page following last week's writing that I thought would clarify my position with the ongoing saga of the golfer's infidelity.
So this piece is bowing to public pressure as I continually hear from readers. While the majority of the correspondence thanks me for not adding another voice to the story and a telephone call from a neighbor from long ago in Boyle Heights said she was "grateful" for my stance, here I am lending my voice to a wife who is exhibiting Tina Turner's "What's Love Got To Do With It" philosophy.
As the mother of five daughters, I applaud the spunk of Elin, the former Swedish model and au pair, who married the golfer in October 2004 and is now the mother of his two children. I'm pretty tired of philandering husbands with wives, including Hillary Clinton, standing by their side. I suspect the stance of women who do this has more to do with advantages and positioning than it has to do with love.
As for Elin, walking away with more millions than this low-income writer knows how to count, the advantage and positioning don't add up to staying with the player who has, as folk on my side of town would say, dissed her. Is it the millions of dollars that drive my viewpoint on this matter? Where's the parenting lesson I've been challenged to find?
At this time of year, long, long ago, one of my daughters was dropped at my house in the early afternoon of a very bad weather day while her then live-in boyfriend drove to San Diego to deliver a Christmas present to his son. Mr. A said he would make a turn-around and be back within a few hours to enjoy Christmas festivities at my home.
As the day wore into night, as the rain poured and lightning flashed and long after all of the other guests had packed up their gifts and left, daughter began to cry hysterically and made the mistake of asking me what I thought of her significant other. Before answering, I did warn her that she might not want to hear my very honest position. She was in a weak and vulnerable position, and let me add she had just recently been discharged from the hospital following back surgery.
What did I think of Mr. A? Well, it wasn't Mr. A who my thoughts centered on. The problem was my daughter, who put up with his escapades time and time again. I drove her home while the storm was still raging. He returned from San Diego and his ex-wife three days later.
I don't know what lessons Elin's mom, Barbara Holmberg, a politician, preached to her daughter, but this young lady most certainly has not stood by her philandering man nor should the rest of our daughters. I'm humming Tina's "What's Love Got to do With It" and my daughters, all of them, are joining in.
Mr. A? Of course he kept up his nonsense with a host of other women. And then one day, after devoting 15 years of her youth, my daughter walked away from a life of material comforts she thought were so important that she stayed with the jerk.
his blog can be found in our column section where you can print a copy or e-mail to someone
http://talkaboutparenting.org/pages/articles.php
Tune-in Wednesdays Noon to 1:00 p.m. Talk Abut Parenting with Shirlee Smith LIVE Call-in at 626-794-2116 or 794-2551. PCAC Charter Channel 56 in Pasadena. Return to our home page and click the channel 56 logo for streaming. See our calendar listing for show guest and for further information.
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Comment
| | 1. | "I like the parenting lesson you pinpoint: don't let money and material comforts blind you! I think I'm humming the Notorious B.I.G. lyric, "Mo' money, mo' problems" also.
Now that you bring it up, Tiger was probably exhibiting this same behavior early and all along in he & Elin's relationship.
However, I think Mr. A was right where he belonged on Christmas....with his son. And the lesson for our boys/men is don't think your money/fame/fortune %28or ego, for those lacking the aforementioned%29 gives you permission to act out whatever you desire %28ie athletes, politicians, etc%29. Cause Tiger's "fairy-tale-life" is now over!
- by Peggy, 12-21-2009, 10:05 PM
| | 2. | Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse..
She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
Cause a bimbo's phone number was in his Blackberry.
He'd been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
He'd been cheatin' with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger's sad sordid tale was all over the news.
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
Despite all his cryin' and beggin' and pleadin',
Tiger's wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
"If you're gettin' laid then I'm gettin' paid."
She's not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.
- by David, 12-20-2009, 8:38 PM
| | 3. | Shirlee,
As one of those former philandering husband's there's not much that I'm gonna try and offer Tiger or anyone else. But, I'll make a few observations.
Frist. is the morals of today's society are so mnuch different than when I was growing up, and then in my early manhood. Back in the day we didn't "shack up"-our family folk frowned upon that. But, if things were different, I would have no doubt stayed unmarried, and just "slept with" a chosen one, for awhile then moved on to the next "chosen one".
All the while, though, I would have treated the particular "chosen one" with dignity and respect. But, she would have none that I was just "greedy". And, that one woman at a time, did not meet my "needs". As I grew older,those "needs" changed. But, when I was young and foolish, those were the rules I lived by.
Did I establish different rules for those I "chose". Of course I did. And THEY knew it. They had their choice to "interact" with me, or not. Few chose not to. So, I was what I was.
People are gonna have to understand, folk do what you allow them to do. You don't want folk to do certain things don't allow them to do those things.
As for Tiger's soon to be ex-wife, I shed no tears for her. Nor do I praise what she did. SURELY, she knew what "that crowd" %28wealth, spoiled, jet-hopping athletes%29 did. C'mon woman-be real.
Hank
- by Hank Wilfong, 12-20-2009, 9:59 AM
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