But the problem second birth was no more the fault of that child than was the flawless entrance into the world of the oldest kid in the family.

This mom was pretty much the talk of the neighborhood where I grew up.

Well, the elders most certainly did not sit me down and provide me with the rundown, but my young ears constantly caught pieces of conversation centered on the behavior of mom toward her two kids who were only about 13 months apart.

The youngest kid was left in her bed most of the day with unchanged diapers on. The older kid could be found sitting in her high chair, playing with toys on the floor. Most noticeable to the elders, this child was usually up and about when visitors dropped by the house.

Then there was the act of getting to the bus stop or going for groceries. Mom always carried the oldest one, while the younger one, who, early on, could hardly walk had to make it on her own.

Wrongdoing? Favoritism? Neither reaped any rewards in the long run as the oldest daughter grew up with absolutely no respect for her mother but the youngest, still seeking approval, pampered Mom, who hated every moment of the attention that was lavished on her by the "wrong daughter."

My kids have heard this story repeatedly over the years. Has it ever made sense to them? I suspect not. Why would a parent treat one kid better than the other is a question I've continually answered. But I don't think my words ever carried meaning until Mali traveled by jet from Harlem to live with us a few weeks ago.

Brandi fell in love with this cat even before she arrived. Cowcat, the old standby? Cowcat, once the apple of Brandi's eye?

"No, I haven't forgotten Cowcat, but I have to make Mali feel at home," Brandi responded to my lecture on favoritism.

My child went on to explain the neglect of her old love in terms that didn't actually sound like the family from my growing-up years, but my child's words and follow-up deeds had pretty much the same meaning.

Mali had suffered the death of her owner - the cat belonged to my sister, who recently passed away - and was aboard a jet plane and was now in a new place to live - so therefore deserved better treatment.

Better treatment at the expense of Cowcat?

Kids have the opportunity to learn there is more than the responsibility of the daily care routine. Fortunately, Brandi has come to find that equal treatment is as important as keeping the litter box clean, keeping fresh water in the dish and feeding her cats a nutritional diet.