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NOT READY FOR ADULTHOOD
Published On 06-07-2009 , 6:57 AM
WE just might just have to go kinda easy on the June 2009 high school graduates, especially those who no one told the 12 years they just completed were part of their prep course for the real world.
Say what? A prep course? No such description was attached to any course listed on the page the counselors gave out for graduation requirements nor did enough families set the stage for the play's next act - alleged adulthood.
In too many homes across America, parents are working with (or maybe working against) teenagers who've become 18, are graduating and mistakenly believe they are ready to hit the road as functioning adults. This myth is something our kids have bought into as society has brought them up on such kinda propaganda.
Graduating from high school is, indeed, an important milestone for young people's journey through life, but this rite of passage, not much different to the pageantry of blowing out the 18 candles on a birthday cake, won't help balance the checkbook, pay the rent, buy food, make a budget or hold on to the money earned from one payday to the next one.
Today's graduates need to wake up. Their parents really need to help them understand magic dust has not been sprinkled upon them.
Getting Julio, John and Jamaal a car as a gift for 12 years of mediocre grades, numerous days of cutting class and disobeying household rules isn't helping the graduate face adulthood.
Kids may skim through high school and still get the rewards from well-meaning parents but real life doesn't play the I-love-you-so-you-can-do-no-wrong game.
Adulthood tells all of us if we don't earn it we don't get it. Try going in late on the first day of work. The story I know is of the young man who'd been hired as a security guard who showed up at 9 instead of 8, the time he'd been told to report for duty. He was fired on the spot.
School didn't teach him that lesson because when he was late teachers simply marked him tardy. And while his parents say they attempted to instill the habit of punctuality, it took his getting fired for him to understand, as the parents said, "Life don't play."
Sharon, who graduated with the class of 2008, turned 18 and got her own bank account. She knew how to endorse a check and quickly learned the routine of filing out deposit slips and using her ATM card.
But this young lady didn't know anything about spending more than was deposited and knew even less when it came to the bank charges that were continually debited against her account. Her parents stepped in only when a huge portion of Sharon's money for college had been thoroughly misappropriated.
Her parents demanded she explain herself. Unfortunately Sharon couldn't demand that time be rolled back to those years when she was never taught how to make and live by a budget, how to balance a checkbook and how to set priorities.
Was this lack of education and preparation for life on the adult side of the line the fault of Sharon's years of attending public schools? Not in my book.
Parents of our unprepared graduates, 18 or whatever age, just might want to corner the young adult they've raised and set to working on that expired 12-year plan.
This blog can be found in our column section where you can print a copy or e-mail to someone
http://talkaboutparenting.org/pages/articles.php
 Tune-in Wednesdays Noon to 1:00 p.m. Talk Abut Parenting with Shirlee Smith LIVE Call-in at 626- 794-2116 or 794-2551. PCAC Charter Channel 56 in Pasadena. Return to our home page and click the channel 56 logo for streaming. See our calendar listing for show guest and for further information.
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Comment
| | 1. | Shirlee,
Teach on. My Sister. Punctuality is, too me, one of the most important oof virues. From that flows a lot of other things. Failure to be on time, affects many many things. Learning it, is a start to "discipline", and other things which lead to "moderation" and "living within budget".
"When your outgo exceeds your income..then your upkeep will become your downfall." I read that somewhere, long ago. Never forgot it
These things need to be taught to PARENTS so they can teach their children.
- by Hank Wilfong, 06-07-2009, 10:09 AM
| | 2. | “…if you don’t earn it, you don’t get it”. Words of wisdom. Words of wisdom.
I had home help workers for weeks on end this year. I would say only two of them,not my regulars, showed up on time—for a total of about five days. They wouldn’t be much late, generally only ten or fifteen minutes. But they were still late and I ended up paying them for that time. And leaving? They would always leave on time or earlier.
Last week’s blog was a gem as well.
This is life.
- by Thomas F., 06-07-2009, 7:22 AM
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