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IN TODAY'S TROUBLESOME CLIMATE, HOW IMPORTANT IS BEDTIME?
Published On 02-22-2009 , 1:15 PM
A simple question, but not such a simple answer. I suspect there are many more parents facing the same issue as the two moms who looked me up to ask for my input.
Jen and Barb from "The Mom Life Show" found me on the Web. "But why me?" I couldn't help wonder.
The last time I'd spent time talking with parents who so blatantly don't believe in drawing the necessary lines and then holding onto them was way long ago.
The way parents raise their children and run their household, in my opinion, is pretty much based upon a philosophical viewpoint.
And based on what I was hearing from both these moms - Jen and Barb - it didn't sound to me as if my approach to life with kids was anything they really wanted to hear. And I sure didn't want to waste time with them, because I suspected their viewing audience possessed their same doting-mommy syndrome.
I didn't ask the big question as to who their viewing audience was, but I did visit their Web site, and there my suspicions were confirmed.
My biggest problem in dealing with this dynamic duo of moms was their politeness and insistence. No matter how rude and tough I was during my telephone conversations with them, they didn't back off.
So the other day, as I left Jen's house in Hancock Park, which gets converted to a studio for their scheduled shoots, I looked her square in her dazzling eyes, framed with well-done blue eye make-up, and asked, "Why me?"
She said she searches for guests and that she carefully viewed my Web site and understood where I was coming from. "I just thought I needed a little Shirlee," Jen said.
And probably a snippet of me goes a long, long way. It turned out to be a 15-minute interview that would be edited down to a 5-minute piece on one of their upcoming shows.
Jen and Barb laid out the problem that I suspect a bunch of families face: What happens when you put your kids to bed, but you have to get in there with them so they'll go to sleep?
Barb even knew of a research finding that declared children whose parents slept with them had higher self-esteem and a bunch of other desirable attributes.
Uh, huh! Check the research that says otherwise. Nowadays, there's a study that says just about anything a person wants to hear.
The parental philosophy I mentioned earlier comes about from each of our experiences and lifestyles.
My view on children's bedtime is pretty much hatched not on research but on circumstances. Being a mom of six kids, bedtime was as much a special time for them as it was for me. And it was as essential for my sanity as it was for their health to establish a process that made sure they didn't view closing out the day as a traumatic event, but instead saw it as a positive experience that prepared them for their tomorrow.
Do I owe Jen and Barb any thanks for perhaps bringing me back from way long ago because now maybe I'm willing to look doting parents in the eye and politely hand them a dose of tough stuff?
The Mom Life Show got a few of my comments, but with the tough decisions parents are being forced to make these days and with the constant upheaval surrounding so many of us, things like children's bedtime are gonna have a hard time making it onto my list of issues that get my full attention.
This blog can be found in our columns section where you can print a copy or e-mail to someone
http://talkaboutparenting.org/pages/articles.php
 Tune-in Wednesdays Noon to 1:00 p.m. Talk Abut Parenting with Shirlee Smith LIVE Call-in at 626- 794-2116 or 794-2551. PCAC Charter Channel 56 in Pasadena. Return to our home page and click the red television for streaming. See our calendar listing for further details
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Comment
| | 1. | Shirlee,
What you said,"things like children's bedtime are gonna have a hard time making it onto my list of issues that get my full attention" just about sums it up for me.
Hank
- by Hank Wilfong, 02-22-2009, 3:19 PM
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