MEET MICHAEL
Published On 09-07-2008 , 8:38 AM
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THEY'RE off and running. Too bad I'm not willing to claim our students, who are now back in school from summer vacation, are off and learning.
Michael told me that getting out of bed late on the first day of school having to "book" to the bus stop in the heat of the morning got him started on the right foot. Actually, from his account of things both feet got pumped up.
But who, I asked, was to blame for this late start? "School shouldn't start in September because the weather is still hot," was his first snippy answer.
With a little more thought to the question, though, Michael, who told me he hates school, said it didn't really matter when he got called back from his leisure life of summer. He would always be bookin' to catch the bus.
Bookin' has nothing to do with studying, learning or having an interest in school. Bookin', as used by many kids, means getting there.
Michael, a high school senior, has managed to make it through the education maze by mastering the art of shuck and jive.
He has been cheating on quizzes and exams for years. His homework is the result of girls who do it for him. His ability to read is so low that he probably isn't capable of completing his school assignments.
Why does he trouble himself to show up for school? How come he even gets out of bed each day? Why hasn't Michael just plain ol' dropped out?
While this young man says he hates school, he readily admits loving the social life it provides him. Michael entertains his homies all day long no matter what class he's in.
Among other things, this student is armed with an arsenal of jokes, proven ways of irritating the teachers, pint-size toys to throw around the classroom and a special swagger he uses when he leaves his seat to stroll around between the desks or tables in the room.
School isn't a learning experience. Then again, maybe it is, because Michael has shown up for school each day for many years to practice his sham.
This student of the absurd has reason to rise and shine each day because school is his playing field. He woos the young ladies who are attracted to his good looks and glib lines. He always manages to hit on the girls who have good grades and are willing to pass him answers to quizzes and to do his homework.
Michael has no reason to drop out of school. He seldom misses class and even has a thing against being tardy. School is his life. Academics and learning don't figure into the equation.
The teachers keep passing him onto the next grade. The school administrators haven't got a clue as to what's going on. The parents of Michael are looking forward to his graduation next June and have no quarrel with the outrageous expenses they feel are necessary to complement this major accomplishment in life.
Handsome young Michael is off and bookin' to catch the bus to school for his last year of being the class fool. But he's only fooling himself.
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